General Comments

***The Red Hot Chili Peppers have narrowed down their song lyrics to topics revolving around saying the word "California." The music is still decent (although nothing like years ago), but come on..enough with California already. I want to hear more about drugs and vaginas again.

***This myspace page is certainly worth checking out.

http://www.myspace.com/randyconstanpeterpan
Listen to the music he made. Check out his pictures. Holy Diver.

Here is his non-profit site. This link will take you straight to his fashions.
http://pixyland.org/peterpan/petersFashionPage.html

Sexy-time!

A Letter From An African Sponsored Child

Dear America, My name is Nanoke Bonbiba and I am 10-years-old. Thank you for sending me letters and money. I am able to eat sometimes with my family. We thank you. We are still very poor and very hungry. Camp CareGive is great to us. It is the camp where your money goes to. They take pictures of us sometimes and give us letters from you. You have probably seen me in your television commercials asking for more money to sponsor children. I am the one with the green stuff and flies on the right side of my head. I am laying next to a yak. Maybe it looks like me and the yak are happy. We are actually very hungry. I got to see the commercial in Camp CareGive's private theatre. "There you are!" pointed the white hand of our camp leader. He was happy. I wished his hand was bread. I want to be more like the children of America. They have much food and much fun. They don't have to sleep on Uncle Ponmubi at night. Uncle Ponmubi is my favorite pillow, but he was much more comfortable before he died two weeks ago. Camp CareGive said that Uncle Ponmubi was in a better place now. I don't understand this. I can see him right now being kicked around by an angry gang of yaks. "More food for me," said one of the yaks. I am so hungry. I have to go now. Camp CareGive is making another commercial for the television. I am in it again! Wish me luck. I have to look hungry and stare at the camera. No problem I say! Some day the money will bring food for us all. I can't wait. I will write again soon. Send water ..send food, Nanoke Bonbiba

Evites, I Hate Them

Tim, I received your evite today. Thank you for using an internet web-page to invite me to your Memorial Day party. I sit next to you at work. Maybe you could have said, "Hey man, I'm having a party." You could have even called me at home and said, "Hey man, I'm having a party." Did you get my reply yet? It's the one that says, "Wow, I can't believe you evited me homo." What about last Tuesday when you said you were going to have a Memorial Day party and were sending out evites. You could have just invited me then jerk. I had been waiting for a week man. Have you checked my reply yet? It's the one says, "You just evited yourself out of a friend." Hey! Looks like I'm coming though (+4 Guests). You don't mind me bringing 4 guests do you? I just met these great new people down at Carl's Auto Body. I hope your party is wheelchair accessible because they are some lazy dudes and refuse to walk on holidays. I told them to bring their portable computers so we can all email each other while having red, white, and blue jello shots. It will be so calculated and great. Did you get my reply yet? It's the one that says, "I hope you don't mind me forwarding your evite to the fine people at Merrill Lynch. Perhaps some fine-tuned nerds will appreciate your evite." Whoa, looks like big Ted (+2 guests) is coming! And there is Sandy (+1 guest). I wonder who she is bringing? Oh, and Chris (+3 guests) had such a funny reply! So far, the evite totals say 27 people are coming, 14 say maybe, and 9 can't make it. Sounds like a party! Make sure you bring you have the exact amount of cups and plates! Sounds like you hate surprises!

Oldies...

I will post a few oldies until I get some new stuff a'rollin' like James Brolin.

LOOK AT YOU
by Casey O'Brien

I thought you would never get here, but there you stand tall. I know we both have things to do so I will keep this short and sweet.Look at you on that plate ready to throw sand on the fire that burns deep within my size 42-inch waist. Ok..ok..it's a size 46-inch waist but I only have guys like you to thank. Just look at you. Two rich slices of whole rye bread encasing a mountainous horde of corned-beef folded to perfection. Yes you are a sandwich. The type of sandwich that makes a grown man cry. The type of sandwich that warrants extra napkins when my careless beef gargling spreads to my shirt and my pants. Look at you. Someone had the gall to cut you in half and stab you with two toothpicks. Does that hurt buddy? Oh here you go. I'll just slide these out and ..yeah..feel better buddy? Hey! Beat it fries! You fried peons aren't fit to guard this corned-beef king! There you go buddy. Only room on this plate for a hearty sandwich. Yes you are a sandwich. The type of sandwich that makes it ok to laugh at my belt for its meager attempt to tame my ever-growing one-pack. The type of sandwich that creates 4 hours of "me time" the next day hugging the little boys room with the corner hardware store's best two jugs of maximum strength Drano substitute. You're the sandwich that keeps on sandwiching, and I thank you for that. I do have to admit that not everyone would enjoy a sandwich like you. Some say you would just end up clogging everything in my body, but my reply is any sandwich that requires a three box serving of Fibercon is worthy well beyond any troubles I may face. Look at you. Crusted edges of rye that properly decorates …wait what was that? Did you say something sandwich? Oh who am I kidding? A sandwich like you would never talk to me. I have to pay for your services, but $11.95 is a small price to pay for a day's worth of smiles. Well my gentle giant, lunchtime is about over and I'm afraid I'm going to have to enjoy you now. I am also sorry to say that I brought a brand new tin of Altoids to overpower your poison. You can't blame me my corned-beef king. It's the only way to get you off my mind.

Holy Diver! The World is Fucking Round!

I relate my last posting to scholars in the 1400's who thought the world was flat. Boy were they wrong!