Requests for REAL stories

I have been getting requests for "real" stories, whatever the fuck that means. People may be growing tired of my made up stories. You know, the creative stories that I have to use my brain for. So, I will switch to just stories that happen to me for awhile and see what happens. If you want to see the other stupid stories I write. Check out:

www.travelwithjesus.blogspot.com
www.myspace.com/leroyracey (with my brother)
And there are a couple of more in the works....but I will update those a bit.

Before I start writing "real" stories, there are a few things you should know about me.

**I will never tell you my burger secrets.
**I prefer a tall blonde lady, but I will settle for midgets with flat-tops
**Nobody actually knows where I live because I have no clue where I live. Tough to esssplain Lucy. Somewhere between Phoenix...aww shucks Huck, I give up.
**I could see myself having man-boobs by age 37.
**When I wear glasses, I look like Moby. When I don't wear glasses, I can't see.
**If you invite me to a wedding, I am giving a speech in some shape or form. Maybe dance interpretation.
**I workout all the time and I am a grown man by this point, but if I see a cricket, moth, spider, or cockroach ...I will most likely take the long route to go around them while asking them to please not move.
**I can run faster than you, but only for about 100 yards. Then you can catch me, throw moths on me, and watch me die.
**I download music constantly. Cough, cough ...legally of course.
**I shook playing video games, so I could easily shake a few of you.
**I grew up in Ohio, which means I know where the other states are located. Sorry Californians.
**I rarely talk about politics or religion, but that doesn't make me an asshole from a younger generation.
**I support gay rights, so when I call you a faggot, take it like a man ..on man.
**I am not for passive-aggresiveness. If you want me to pick you up, don't say, "Did you want to pick me up?" If you think I am being a jerk, then keep it to yourself.
**If you are my friend, chances are you are funny, or creative, or both.
**I shop for shoes. I am just stocking up for when there are no more shoe companies. You won't be laughing then.
**I want to learn Japanese, but need a partner
**I play guitar but need a Japanese guy.
**I am super stubborn, but I am working on this, so don't tell me about it or I will never change.
**I am a paragon for middle-aged and black women. I don't get this one.
**I have a space in my front teeth. I love it actually. It separates me from the handsome men. Or maybe that is my 5-head.
**I can type 60+wpm.
**I have a degree in Journalism, but I hate television news, I rarely read the newspaper & I think that is helping me stay sane.

Casey