Throw It Off A Cliff & Then Scurry In To Eat Pie

I am making a fruit dessert for Thanksgiving. I don't know what yet, but I have started to do research with my best friend Bob Internet. Before you let that "gay" comment to sneak down from your brain to the smirk on your face, tell it to MF off. During this research, I am seeing a lot of ...

BEST apple pie recipe
Betty's Super Best Apple Pie
the BEST recipe for Apple Pie.

Well fuck you Betty!

Does that pie recipe have Sinbad's rubies in it? No? Then really how "best" is your pie Betty?

Everybody says their mother (Aunt, Grandma, Uncle Andre) has the best 'X' recipe. That is fine, just as long as you know it really isn't. Really ...it isn't.

And the stuff that people add or takeaway scares me,BUT I admire how much they get into it.
If they use the word "dash," then you know there is some old woman on the other end of that internet posting with high-water jeans on, standing 4 feet away from a mixing bowl, throwing cinnamon at it. If she gets too much in it, she mumbles, "This is all Carole's fault. She said dash. SHE SAID DASH!" And the ones that say "just a touch" have another window up on their PC talking to a 13-year-old in Indonesia.

I am still talking about baking. Well fuck you Betty!

Here is something I don't care about:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071113/ap_on_sc/endangered_bears
Throw them off a cliff if they are going to get millions of dollars in funding!
Oh but it's the world's smallest bear. The sun bear! Weeee! Set them out with the other bears and let Darwin get his notepad out.

Here is something else I don't care about:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20071112/us_nm/west_mother_dc_3
Throw the cadaver off a cliff! Really? Why was that article on the front page of Yahoo and CNN? WHY WHY WHY! This is why the news is atrocious. Television news is absolutely hideous ...like your mom's face.

KC