Corn Hole Is For The Sexy & Liars

I got suckered into playing corn hole a few weeks back with Jenn at some school function fundraiser for her area schools. It turned out to be fun. The Buds were $2 and the hot dogs were $1. For anyone who doesn't know what corn hole is, it is a game of (Fart noises!) and also (Fart Noises!). True skill.

Anyhoot, let's skip past the boring part and get to the goods. Everyone knows there are ALWAYS great and exciting stories with corn hole and it is tough for me not to sit down and write all the great things!

(what Jenn? A 1997 rerun of Law & Order is on? BE RIGHT BACK)

8 months later ...

(OK BACK)

First, I was the only person to lose 3 times in a double-elimination tournament. It turns out Jenn was equally (way, way worse) as bad. Jenn and I were eliminated first out of 28 teams. Which, was the goal of some old dude that was talking with us. He wanted to leave all fast like but we definitely beat him to the punch. We were about ready to leave when this one other old dude had to leave and was leaving his partner cold. I decided to be the replacement because the other guy was really good and could potentially carry me to corn hole glory.

Fast forward to the final four where I was with this guy and we went up against the kid and his mother. They both play a lot. Mom played with a beer in hand. Kid was dead serious. They both were quite good. If I had a corn hole scale that judges talent ...FART NOISES!

After we lost 25-3 (game up to 21), I walked over the the son and starting talking with him. He was a big military meat (6'2 220?), about 21 I think. Very nice kid, but he did something I thought he would do after talking with him for awhile. Maybe I can smell a lie hours before it can happen? Maybe I set him up for it, but it happened.

CASEY: Hey man. You are good. Your mom is good too.
MILITARY MEAT: yeah thanks. We've been playing for a long time. Ever since I was about 8-years-old.
CASEY: Cool. You must throw it correctly. I see you spin it sideways.
MILITARY MEAT: yeah my grandpa taught us how to play right and stuff. My grandpa has been playing since World War II. Him and some buddies would get out there and play a lot, then he taught me and my mom. We are a corn hole family.
CASEY: Oh wow. Very nice. (baiting) I didn't know it was around that long.
MILITARY MEAT: Yeah. He and a couple of other guys played a lot during the war.

wait for it ...
wait for it ...
Kid's face is jittery. Reading to pop something out ...

MILITARY MEAT: Yeah he pretty much invented the game, but didn't get patents and all that. You know

(Ahh. There it is!)
CASEY: Mmm Hmm. Yeah.