A Message From Wilford Brimley

This is a paid advertisement from Brimley Lincoln Medical Supply:

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"Thanks a lot Brimley Lincoln Medical Supply. I get fresh needles delivered every single week for my heroine addiction. I have HIV, but the fresh needles ensure my daughter's safety."

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What are you waiting for? Get the help you need and deserve with Brimley Lincoln Medical Supply. There is the number again. Call today and start enjoying a better life.

Interview With Kenny Chesney

I caught up with Kenny Chesney. He stops through Casa Grande, AZ all the time for ...err....stuff.

This is how it went down.

KC: First off, explain this "fraud" deal Renee Z cited in the annulment.
KENNY: Oh, umm. Well I am a complete fraud, just like country music.
KC: Yikes! True about country music, but aren't you being a little tough on yourself?
KENNY: Nope.
KC: Ok, Well what did you do?
KENNY: Well I told her I was talented. I also told her I had a penis if she ever got my tight jeans off. Well she did and she caught me in a boldfaced lie. My jeans held her off for like 3 months though. Good job Wrangler buddy!
KC: Yeah. You are not very talented and you are wearing Wranglers. You sound pretty credible to me.
KENNY: Well I was just bending the truth there a little. I told her I had a big penis too. I'm sorry.
KC: You jerk. Ok, let us move on from the bad ...onto some of the good things that have happened in your career.
KENNY: Ok
KC: Umm...searching here. Ok...Oh here is something ...no wait. Umm.
KENNY: You are wasting your time.
KC: Ahhha! I found something. It says here you once climbed Mt. Everest! That is incredible. I just read where this paraplegic climbed Mt. Everest. How heroic of him ...and now of you!
KENNY: Yeah, well I lied about that one too. I bet we are done here.
KC: Yep

Andrew Dice Clay

Hey, yo. I had this girl once named Katrina. She really blew me.

BOOOOO! BOOOO!

umm ....
rained on my parade?
spun my life around?
tore me apart?
drowned me with kisses?
was a home wrecker?

BOOOO! BOOOO!

Oh come on! Lighten up! Ok, you don't have to.

I just saw Andrew Dice Clay on a VH1 show or something. I like him. He is one of the few people who really does not give a $%&! about anything. Have you ever seen footage of him outside of standup comedy? He is pretty much the same dude. A real true asshole.

Ohio Breeds Freaks

I just read an article on CNN. Read it.

http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/09/12/caged.children/index.html

Wow. People put 8 children in 3ft x 3ft wooden cages with nothing in them to "protect them." It happened in Ohio, of course. It seems Ohio has had its fair share of freaks. Let us see...

Jeffrey Dahmer, although born in Wisconsin, actually grew up in Ohio where he had sex with animals as a boy.
Charles Manson is from Cincinnati.
Marilyn Manson is from Canton.
That highway sniper a year or two ago ..Columbus.
Ulysses S. Grant. Great war beard.
Steven Spielburg is from Cincinnati and he is an asshole.
Paul Newman is from Cleveland. His salad dressing proceeds go to awkward children.
Clark Gable is from Cadiz, Ohio. He clearly made that city name up.
Dean Martin is from Steubenville. As a boy he collected Indian heads.
Ted Turner is from Cincinnati. Ted Turner ate the head off of a live deer.

Many, many more.